Working with difficult people can cause you enormous stress and strain. So what do you about these people? Here is a very interesting question sent in by one of our members. Maria asks for more advice on difficult people in the workplace. So here is the question from Maria.
A QUESTION ON DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AT WORK
In other information you have spoken about a range of techniques to stay calm, cool and collected when working with difficult people. You mentioned the strategy of walking away from a very difficult person when you feel yourself becoming stressed and angry with them. Using this walk away strategy for stress reduction and to calm down. However, in dealing with difficult people at work there is a particular person you interrupts me every time I try to communicate with them. I do really want to walk away as it is driving me mad. But if I walk away whenever they interrupt me I probably would never come back and try to speak to them again. Do you have any further advice on how I deal with difficult people like this one at work? What else can I do to remain calm and yet get them to stop interrupting me?
EVEN MORE THAN WALKING AWAY TO COMPOSE YOURSELF
Great question from Maria. I'm certain a lot of other people would like more ideas as well. So here is an additional idea on dealing with people at work you are interrupters as you try to speak to them. You do still need to be driven to stay as calm and chilled out as you can. You do still need to walk away and find some space as you're feeling your stress levels climbing. Whether it's only into the adjacent room or a lively walk around the block, apply this time to cool off and focus on trying to think clearly again. Then you will be able to go back to attempt to speak to this person once more. Taking this time can mean the difference between staying really calm or losing control over your emotions in working with difficult people.
WORKING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND COMMUNICATION
However, besides simply swinging around and walking off from this person once you feel your stress levels climbing. Add this stress management and assertive communication technique when employing the walking off strategy. Prior to you walking off for a short time, you need to tell this demanding person why you're walking off. Make sure to sound as calm as you can and use assertive communication in working with difficult people like this.
WALK OFF AND LET THEM KNOW WHY
Very clearly and calmly explain to them why you are walking away. For instance, you can say "Ann, I feel extremely angry when you speak to me in this way. I am going to walk away from you now and when I return I would prefer that when I speak, you do not interrupt me and wait until I have finished speaking before speaking yourself".
DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND SAY AGAIN
When you explain how come you're walking away then it conveys really clearly to this person how their behavior is disturbing you. You've explained this to them in a serene fashion and have walked off to allow you some space to calm down your emotions once more. But don't expect this person to instantly alter their behavior. This behavior is a communicating practice they've done so frequently for a long time. In working with difficult people like this person, you do need to be persistent and unrelenting. Be prepared to explain why and walk away often. Be prepared to do this as frequently as required until this person begins to alter their communication pattern with you.
REPETITION NEEDS TO HAPPEN WHEN COMMUNICATING
So Maria, each time this person interrupts you when you are speaking to them, tell them again why you are feeling angry. Tell them again why you are walking away. Tell them again the behavior you would like to see from them when you return. Tell them clearly, concisely and calmly. Keep on telling them and being prepared to walk away until this person stops interrupting you whenever they speak with you.
GETTING THE MESSAGE THROUGH TO THEM
This rude person will ultimately get the message and have to alter their behavior in some way. They will certainly get the message, that if they need to communicate with you they will have to stop interrupting you. Otherwise you will simply walk away and come back later to try to communicate again.
WORKING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND USING THIS STRATEGY
Consider using this strategy when working with difficult people. Always aim to be persist and consitent with these difficult people. This will mean that you will be more assertive and reduce your stress in working with difficult people who are interrupters.
So what are your thoughts on dealing with these difficult people? We have lots more great ideas to share with you. Dr Judy Esmond is a leading international expert in the field of stress and dealing with people. I look forward to hearing from you and invite you to get a complimentary copy of our guide on Dealing with Difficult People: 17 Ideas on How to Deal with Difficult People from our website at http://www.nodifficultpeople.com
Working with difficult people is also an aspect of time management as if you do not do it correctly an enormous amount of time will get lost.
For a free report and ecourse with top time management tips and techniques go to www.thetimemanager.net