Friday, 26 February 2010

Article From Positive ADHD Traits

Just like adults who don't have ADHD, not all people with ADHD have the same talents and strengths. However, there are a group of positive talents that are often seen in people with ADHD and below are five of them. Give yourself credit for the things you do well. This in turn will boast your confidence and self-esteem.

Great Company

The combination of your vibrant energy and sense of humour make you a great person to be around. Friends want to spend time with you and strangers naturally gravitate towards you.


You are compassionate to other people, causes and animals. Your sensitivity helps you to relate because you have less inhibitions than a non-ADHD person. You will be the person who helps a lady with a stroller or speaks loudly to protest against something you believe in.


Impulsive actions allow you to take action quickly. This allows you to do things that many people think of doing, but by the time they take action, the moment is lost.

You think swiftly and act swiftly. Your impulsivity also means you make decisions quickly, which can be a huge gift, as some people can spend hours agonizing over something that can take you a matter of seconds to decide.

Spirit of Enquiry

You have a spirit of enquiry and love to gather facts on many different subjects. You can hold interesting and informed conversations on a wide variety of topics. Your natural thirst for knowledge keeps you young, whatever your biological age and also makes you an interesting person to be around.

Weakness Can Become Strength

While this article is about celebrating your strengths, sometimes a weakness can become your strength. An example I see quite often is having an organized environment. Some adults with ADHD, once they discover how calm and happy they feel with a tidy environment, become experts at keeping their environment super tidy. They become more efficient at creating and keeping their environment tidy than any person who did have a clutter problem.

This Week's Actions

1. Do you recognize yourself in any of the above talents? Just because they come easily to you, remember not everyone has them.

2. For each of the five points above, ask yourself:
-Is this a trait I have?
-When have I noticed/experienced it recently?
-How could I maximize this trait and use it more to my advantage?

3. Keep a record of when you feel good about one of your talents, or get positive feedback from another person. You can refer back to it to this list give yourself a lift at times when you aren't feeling so good about yourself.

Jacqueline Sinfield is an ADHD coach and author of the book, Untapped Brilliance: How to Reach Your Full Potential as an Adult with ADHD. She has worked in the healthcare field for nearly twenty years. She has an Honors degree in Psychology and trained & worked as a nurse in England before moving to Montreal, Canada where she has her own private coaching practise.

Even ADHD Coaches Suffer with Clutter

When I moved homes in February, my home office set-up changed. While I have a great office to see my clients in, I also do a reasonable amount of work on my computer in my home office.

While there was more physical space in my new office, there also seemed to be lots of belongings that didn't have a designated home. The office was used as a "dumping ground" and the result wasn't pretty, as you can see from my before picture!

It took a couple of months before I had the time and mental motivation to address this clutter. Part of the problem was that whenever I looked at the pile of "stuff" my energy disappeared.

I clear clutter in the same way I advise my clients, 15 minutes at a time. Some days I could do more than 15 minutes, but only if I was very motivated. Once I had made a big dent and there was less "stuff," it was much easier to spend more time on the project.

The first plan of attack was to throw out "stuff" that I no longer needed, used or made me happy. That was a good psychological boost because it was easy to see the progress I made.

Belongings either went to the charity store, in the garbage, through the shredder or to the recycling box. Sorting through papers was hard. Each piece needed reading and a decision to be made: keep or shred. This was time-consuming and not very satisfying because the visual process was slow.

The hardest items were ones that had sentimental value but were not nice enough to donate. For example, a "Winnie the Pooh" pencil case that I had had since I was 15 years old. I no longer used it and it had an ink stain, but I couldn't throw it out.

Once I had gotten down to the bare bones of the belongings, I realized that I needed some new storage supplies. I bought new hanging files for my filing cabinet to store important paperwork and I also found a lovely six drawer cabinet (in the After picture) to put my "to keep" items in.

When I started putting these items in their new home, something very pleasant occurred. As the new storage unit was so new and shiny, I only wanted to put "good stuff" in it. So I had another phase of decluttering. This was when the "Winnie the Pooh" pencil case got sent to the trash.

Finally, I went on a search for some containers to make the insides of the drawers tidy. By this point, my heart lifted when I walked into the office and I felt energized rather than depleted.

So now it's your turn!!!

1. Pick an area you want to address / attack.
2. Take a "before" photo.
3. Spend 15 minutes a day on your area. Sometimes you might be inspired to do more.
4. Begin by removing everything that you no longer want, need or use.
5. When you know what your "bare bones" belongings look like, think if you need any new equipment or furniture to house it neatly.
6. Give yourself permission to buy what you need. You will be able to find your new supplies, whatever your budget.
7. Through the process, acknowledge any resistance or uncomfortable emotions you have.
8. Take an "after" photo.
9. Enjoy your new tidy and organized space!!!

Jacqueline Sinfield is an ADHD coach and author of the book, Untapped Brilliance: How to Reach Your Full Potential as an Adult with ADHD. She has worked in the healthcare field for nearly twenty years. She has an Honors degree in Psychology and trained & worked as a nurse in England before moving to Montreal, Canada where she has her own private coaching practise.

How to Remove the Stress from Tackling Big Projects

Stress and your mind are interconnected in deciding your experiences and feelings in life. Your stress management and stress relief responses are dominated by your own mindset. Your mind is very powerful and will most often determine whether a situation or experience causes you stress, strain, tension and worry. Or whether the same situation will be a positive experience for you.


The ability of your mind is therefore critical when grappling with a large project or assignment.  For many people, the thought of attempting to complete a big project fills them with dread. They look upon such projects with tremendous fear. Their stress levels climb dramatically and they feel overpowered as the project appears insurmountable. But changing your mindset can be a strong positive drive in helping you deal with any big project.


So how do you apply the power of your mind to remove all that pressure, strain and concern away from starting a big project at work or home?   It's to do with your mindset and beginning with one critical question. This is the most crucial time and stress management question you can ask yourself when commencing any big assignment.


Here is your question.  Can I take this project and divide it into smaller more manageable parts? That is it. This is the most powerful question you can ask yourself and others in your team about to tackle a big project. Because the answer to this question is always YES. You can take any project that you about to commence and break it down into more workable steps, pieces or parts. When you stop fretting, agonizing and stressing and break the project down into the steps involved, you can actually see yourself doing these steps.  You are now gaining control over the project, rather than the project controlling you.


All great achievements and projects begin with little steps. So begin with defining all those steps. The power of your mind will then start to reduce your feelings of tension and distress as you begin to ascertain each step as manageable on its own. Your mentality changes as you're now centered on finishing the initial smaller and more attainable steps. As you finish one workable piece of the project puzzle you are able to then go onto the next. You feel a great deal of less stress as the project no longer appears as overpowering as it did earlier.


So whenever you are faced with what seems like an overwhelmingly large project, start by asking this most important question.  It will lead you to using very effective time and stress management strategies. Can I take this project and divide it into smaller more manageable parts?  It is the answers to this question, that makes a large and almost impossible project become possible.  It dissipates your fear and stress as you begin moving towards completion taking one step at a time.

Are you prepared for a whole lot more ideas on stress, stress relief and stress management? What about having 101 more stress ideas to read? At the Global Organization for Stress, our Director Dr Judy Esmond invites you to snap up your free copy of our 101 WAYS TO LESS STRESS GUIDE. Just click on this link to our website now at
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Why Good Systems Not Pop Psychology Hold The Key To Superior Employee Performance

So many gurus and management experts tell us that "psychologist" is one of the "hats" managers have to wear. That's only partially true. In fact, if you're seeking superior employee performance, concentrate on your systems and forget about playing amateur psychologist.

If the Systems Are Poor The People Will Fail. I've learned that conclusively after 40 years in people management. It's expressed in other ways too. "Poor systems, poorer people". "Fix the systems before the people" "There are few poor people but lots of poor systems".

You may be a manager who prefers to discuss things with employees. You may prefer counselling or even issuing formal warnings. Check your local industrial laws to see what's required. These approaches can be useful. But I repeat what I've learned. When performance falters, look at your systems before your people.

If your people are performing poorly, you have a systems problem somewhere. If you fail to fix your systems, training and counselling your employees won't solve your people problems. That's beyond doubt.

What's A System. A system is simple. It's "the way we do things around here". Your systems may be extraordinarily complex and sophisticated. You may have nothing in writing or formally laid down.

If that's how you do things, that's your system. If that system, brilliant or banal, doesn't support your people to help them to do their jobs competently, the system, or part of it has failed.

Systems Problems Can Be Anywhere. Just because the staff in the warehouse are underperforming, doesn't mean that your warehouse systems are faulty. The system problem could be * recruiting the wrong people * liaison between warehousing and purchasing * administrative procedures that inhibit performance * poor storage facilities * poor training * or any of a number of different issues.

In other words, it could be anywhere. But I'll guarantee there is a system problem. In this case, it could be something as simple as poor form design.

Simple Solutions. You'll often find that the solution to your systems problem is relatively simple. If could be form redesign, paper flow adjustment or work sequence change.

It's hard to believe, but I once saw someone change the spot where orders were placed on a desk and clear a major bottleneck. The solution was simplicity itself. No one had realized the exact nature of the problem. Staff themselves often know the answer. Ask them.

Conclusion. You may have some lazy, incompetent and difficult people in your workplace.

But the reason for their behaviour may lie with the systems you require them to operate with.

Replacing and retraining people is very costly. Try improving the systems before replacing or retraining the people.

Leon Noone helps managers in small-medium business to improve on-job staff performance without training courses. Some say his ideas are too unconventional. Find out for yourself by reading his free Special Report "49 Practical Tips For Better People Management In Small-Medium Business". Simply visit and download your free copy now.
Its not only employee pperformance that can benefit from great systems, we all can
My free report on time management will help you to create good sysstems

The Time-Price-Quality Connection in the Cleaning Business

How can independent cleaning businesses respond to the empty-promising franchises and national cleaning management companies who threaten to take some of their best, oldest and largest customers with their slick marketing and low-ball prices?

Well, frankly, they need to have an 'answer' to this question from their customers:

"Why should I continue to do business with you when I've got your competitors promising me fantastic cleaning at unbelievably low prices?"

Well, each independent cleaning business has to answer that question for their individual company. But, in the end, the answer has to make one thing clear:

How you are different from your competitors, and how that difference benefits customers by delivering them more value, better value. It needs to make sense and it needs to really matter.

For example, let's say a building owner asks why they should stick with me, rather than switch to one of my aggressive pricing, over-promising competitors.

Rather than begging them to stay out of loyalty, pleading with them to stay because we're 'bonded licensed and insured', or worse yet, out of fear, and in a knee-jerk reaction, weakly negotiating with them to stay, by saying we'll lower our price to whatever price the 'other guy' is offering, - what if I said the following, instead:

"Mr. Customer, I understand what you're asking, and I understand your reasons for asking it. It's tough out there and if there's some way you could save a bunch of money and still get good cleaning - I realize you have to consider it for the sake of the building you own or manage. It makes complete sense.

But, you know me, and I'm here to tell it to you straight. I'm proud that you've been our customer for quite a while now; you know that, and I would never do anything to jeopardize the trust you have in me.

Now, I know how long it takes to clean this building properly three nights a week. I can show you based on the cleaning you require and the frequency of that cleaning, plus our experience in handling the cleaning for some time now, how long it takes to perform that work properly.

And I want you to know that we can always work together to reduce some of those duties if you'd like to in order to lower your monthly cost.

But, whether you decide to change the duties or not, I want you to know about some of the powerful systems in place which allows us to make and live up to a number of important guarantees, about how we get and keep your building looking good. These are the 'things' that make us different and bring our customers value.

You can see the results in the appearance of your building and hear the results in the comments from your employees and tenants.

I'd like to review just one of those important guarantees today.

DAN LIEBRECHT is Co-Founder of Clean Guru LLC and the CleanBid Online Program. Along with his business partner Tony Dietsch, Dan built a successful janitorial cleaning company. He has authored numerous articles about the cleaning business, including an in-depth look at janitorial bidding software published in a leading industry periodical.


Sunday, 21 February 2010

Parenting children with ADHD

Children with ADHD can create chaos in their families but some of it depends on how we respond to them. Do we respond with control or panic? I believe we should be proactive and head off the problem. I've included 10 ideas.

1. Provide a great deal of structure for the child - same bedtimes, meal times, homework times.

2. Seriously limit or eliminate video games.

3. Television should be limited or eliminated.

4. Find them quiet activities such as legos, blocks, k-nex, reading, or word searches.  Legos have been found to be a positive way to engage their brain.

5. Watch their diet by limiting food dyes, sugar, caffeine.

6. Keep the environment calm and quiet - You can help the child reduce their activity levels.

7. Structured physical activity - Use large muscle activities during their worst times to burn off energy, such as biking, trampoline, etc.

8. Homework and bedtime - At home in the evening, before homework have the child take some quiet time.  Perhaps a bath first will help.

9. Help the child stay organized - they may need your help with this.  Usually, you cannot just say "clean your room" or "do your homework."  Help them organize their room and their backpack and help them stay on top of it.  Show them how and where to do their homework - with no video or tv.

10.  The child may be different than your other children so they need more structure.  Realize they need alternate plans.  Some children can handle activities but some ADHD children may only be able to work for 5 minutes and this is very frstrating for caregivers.  That is why I recommend having plans prepared.

The children are not bad children but they do not have a pause button after their thoughts.  If we were really nervous and/or had a lot of anxiety, we would have a hard time sitting still and concentrating.  They have this extra energy in their bodies. I work in schools and have seen cases of the CLASSIC ADHD student  in first or second grade.  They truly cannot sit still or stay focused and the hard part is that they are getting in trouble all the time because they cannot follow directions or stay at their desk.  They are always bother others. Parents have decided to try the medication, and the child has become totally different, including being happier and more able to learn. After medications, these children often have moments they are proud of because they have learned to ake good choies,can now read, and can focus.

Check out the website for self-improvement products for you and for you to sell to others - one each week. Go to and check on the 14 days for free. You can also go to to sign up for free guide to online home-based profits.

Housework and ADHD

When you have ADHD, one of the worst tasks imaginable is... housework. Not only is it boring and mundane, it also provides ample opportunity for procrastination and distraction to take place. What could be a two-hour cleaning spree could take all day. However, even though housework, such as cleaning and tidying, taking the trash out, etc. is not a pleasant prospect, it does need to be done, both from a health and safety standpoint, and for your mental and emotional well-being. You feel much better when you have a clean and tidy house. So how can you make it more interesting and even fun? Below is a winning formula!!!

1.  Get a piece of paper and a pen and write down every room that needs attention. For example:

-Living Room

You don't need to write down what you need to do in each room as that will be obvious once you are there.

By each room on your list, write down the number 10. (This stands for ten minutes.)

2.  Now go to the first room on the list, set your timer for 10 minutes and blitz. Do what needs to be done. It could be changing the linens on the bed, putting clothes away, vacuuming, etc. Start and then keep moving until the timer rings and the 10 minutes is up. A golden rule is don't leave the room you are working in (even for a second) during those 10 minutes. If you find an item that belongs in another room, put it by the door to be moved when the 10 minutes is up. This keeps your mind focused on the tasks in hand and minimizes the risk of distraction.

3.  When the timer goes off, stop what you are doing, even if you are in the middle of a task. This might be hard because our mind craves completion. However, it's because you DO stop and move from room to room that you remain motivated and energized. This is why this technique works so well. When the timer goes off, put a line through the 10 for the room you have just finished and then move to the second room.

4.  Do the same for each room on the list. This technique is so powerful that it keeps you on your toes. 10 minutes does not allow you to get bored. It creates a sort of race between you and the timer and keeps you motivated to keep going and not procrastinate.

5.  When you have finished all the rooms on your list (maximum 5 rooms), have a mini break. Drink some water and then start again at the beginning of your list and spend another 10 minutes in each room. By then you should have 5 clean and shiny rooms.

When you have finished, sit down for a rest and a cup of tea and flip through a magazine as a treat... you earned it!!!

Jacqueline Sinfield is an ADHD coach and author of the book, Untapped Brilliance: How to Reach Your Full Potential as an Adult with ADHD. She has worked in the healthcare field for nearly twenty years. She has an Honors degree in Psychology and trained & worked as a nurse in England before moving to Montreal, Canada where she has her own private coaching practise.

"Discover How to Take Control of Your Time in Less Than 1 Week -- And Achieve Your Most Important Goals and Dreams Easily"

Click HERE for more information

Online Brain Training

So you have been reading about online brain training, and you are ready to go, you plugged those words into your search engine browser, and got taken to a site that says "buy our stuff", in so many words, and based on your life experience, you hesitate before pulling out your credit card, and you decide to read a bit, research a bit, before buying.

That is a good decision, because as always, the devil is in the details.

The details of online brain training being that you can increase your neuroplasticity (new connections between neurons after learning) and your neurogenesis (the growth of new neurons), which are the essence of the brain fitness explosion that you have been reading about, by attending to the pillars of brain fitness, which are physical exercise/activity, nutrition, including omega 3 fatty acid, getting good rest, stress management, and engaging in what are novel learning experiences for you.

Novel learning experiences are usually described by the experts as the kind of learning involved in learning a new language or learning how to play a new instrument, not listening to music, but making your fingers and brain practice it.

However, in regards to the novel learning experience, there are programs that you can do online that enhance your neuroplasticity and neurogenesis,  and others that you can buy and use on your computer at home.

Online brain training works best if you are attending to all the Pillars of Brain Fitness.

If you want an excellent primer on brain fitness, neurogenesis, and neuroplasticity, then I suggest you read Brainfit for Life written by Simon Evans,Ph.D. and Paul Burghardt,Ph.D. who are neuroscientists at the University of Michigan, and don't worry about the jargon.

They write for us lay people, so their language is less complicated than what most advertisers use in an attempt to impress us.

Evans and Burghardt lay out a blue print for online brain training which gives us the best chance of aging gracefully, which is very important to this 62 year old brain because I have two children, one 11 and one 5, and I want to be part of their lives for a long time.

They do begin with physical activity/exercise as the most important aspect of brain fitness, and there is good news on that front, if you are not interested in getting a membership at the local exercise club, and flinging around big barbells.

You can get the necessary exercise at home doing a little longer, a little faster walk around the block, for example, or take up your own version of high intensity interval training (HIIT) using very simple tools like an exercise ball.  HIIT workouts can be as brief as ten minutes, and believe me you will be breathing hard at the end of your ten minutes, which is what neurogenesis requires.

So even your exercise pillar can be taught to you online.

Then Evans and Burghardt talk about the other pillars of brain fitness, nutrition, including lots of omega 3 fatty acid for the membrane around neurons, good sleep, and stress management.

I have used a tool in my counseling practice called heart rate variability biofeedback for stress management since 2001, and it is an easily learnible skill, which we can cue on any given heart beat if we want, and it actually opens higher perceptual centers in the brain for...neurogenesis and neuroplasticity.

So now we have reached the novel learning experience pillar of brain fitness.

The experts say that maximizing neurogenesis and neuroplasticity with novel learning experience means giving my brain the kind of workout that comes with learning a new instrument or a new language.

However, I do not have the time to learn a new language or new instrument, so I have looked at the research like the IMPACT study which was published in 2009 and put the one of the leading  Brain Fitness Programs to the test, with surprisingly excellent results, to determine the value of using computerized brain fitness programs for their novel learning experience benefits.

Turns out there is other research about computerized brain fitness programs, in particular the dual n back task, which increases IQ, and Evans and Burghardt touch on that tool.

Online Brain training is an excellent way to build in challenging work which enhances neuroplasticity and neurogenesis.

Michael S. Logan is a brain fitness expert, counselor, a student of Chi Gong, and a licensed one on one HeartMath provider. I enjoy the spiritual, the mythological, and psychological, and I am a late life father to Shane, 10, and Hannah Marie, 4, whose brains are so amazing.
Don't forget to get your free Time management report at

Why Analytics Don't Always Work for Companies - Applied vs. Theoretical Statistics

There are many controversial topics actively discussed among business analysts who follow divergent schools of thought.  The most common schools of thought can be categorized into two groups:  the first group being the theoretical statisticians, and the second being represented by those individuals who embrace "applied" statistics.

Generally, the theoretical statisticians apply what they've learned in an academic setting, and follow the "laws" set forth by their institutions.  On the other end of the spectrum, the applied statisticians rely heavily on market testing and key performance indicators (e.g., financial impact) to determine their own set of experientially-based statistical methods and axioms.

Neither school is inherently good or bad.  All seasoned analytic managers have met new analysts who come straight out of school with misconceptions of the value and place for various mathematical procedures and rules.  We've all also faced analysts with significant career experience who have carried their academic theoretical statistical knowledge with them as an unchanging edict, despite the limited (or detrimental) applicability of some of these doctrines in the marketplace.  Similarly, we've all also encountered business-focused "applied statisticians" whose lack of adherence to theory has resulted in unstable strategic analytic products that look great on paper, but fail in practice.

Of all the points of conflict between theoretical and applied statisticians, one of the most heated relates to the utility of the measurement of colinearity in predictive modeling.  In predictive modeling, colinearity is the amount to which two independent variables correspond to the same dependent variable.  It can also refer to the amount a single independent variable corresponds to a dependent variable.

The theoretical statistician will argue that intensively managing colinearity is of great importance in building predictive models.  A few of the arguments they will cite to support this position include that if colinearity isn't removed:

1. We cannot clearly explain the value of each independent variable in the model's predictive algorithm

2. We are endorsing a final product that may not conform with standard mathematical partiality towards a solution that is parsimonious in nature

3. Parameter estimates might be unstable from sample to sample (or from validation to marketplace execution)

The applied statistician will argue that colinearity is not relevant as:

1. We are seeking lift , not explanation.  If the new model makes more money in the marketplace, the ability to explain "why" becomes academic

2. Parameter estimate stability can be enhanced through various exercises during the model build phase

The reality is that both sides may be correct, at specific application points, and in specific situations.  We just need to moderate academic rigor with real-world findings in order to uncover when to implement a rule, when to bend it, and when to discard it.  To address each of the five points (above):

Explaining an individual variable's contribution to a multivariate prediction may or may not have relevance.

*If you are in a market research company, this is a key concern.  You will need to let your clients know not only "what will be," but "why."

*If you are in a direct marketing company, explanation may not be relevant.  As an example, if you work for a catalog company, maximum incremental financial lift is far more important than explaining the "percent of predictive value" driven by individual model components.

Ideally, we want a parsimonious solution as they tend to be more stable.  But, what if you find that your less parsimonious option (having been tested on multiple out-of-time validation samples) is almost identical in stability?  What if, during those same tests you find that it produces a far more robust prediction?  In short:

1. Generally, you will want to favor a more parsimonious solution

2. But, if you have a model that is relatively less parsimonious, but already proven stable and robust, there may not be any additional value in reworking the solution for the sake of a mathematical preference

If you are conducting a model building strategy that does not manage colinearity, but is laser-focused on lift, and you find that your parameter estimates are not stable, a likely cause is inadequate sample size in the build data set.  As a result:

*You can increase your sample size substantially (which will typically eliminate this issue)

For most predictive model applications in industry, lift is the goal.  But you need to be apprised of the perspective of senior management and clients.  Until they are comfortable with your track record, they may require you to explain the nature, source and quantified relevance of each individual variable in your model...and you'll need to provide this explanation in business terms they can understand

Managing parameter estimate instability can't always be achieved:

1. The most common way to reduce model instability (caused by collinear variables) is to increase the build and validation sample sizes.  But, for many organizations, there simply isn't enough data to do this effectively (especially for smaller organizations that are not engaged in direct marketing).

2. Another potential parameter estimate instability cure is to examine each variable and appropriately bin them relative to the dependent variable in question.  Keep in mind, though, that the more you bin, the more you will also be reducing variable information value...and this may end up reducing the overall predictive power of the model.

Overall, the positions held by the "pure" theoretical statistician and the "pure" applied statistician both have strengths and weaknesses that can be demonstrated in actual market testing.  To improve effectiveness, each group needs to move beyond a mastery of one philosophy, and become a pragmatist of both.
If you want to be fast and effective at your work try out the action machine

Alan Gorenstein can be contacted via

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Working with Difficult People and How to Change Communication

Working with difficult people can cause you enormous stress and strain.  So what do you about these people?  Here is a very interesting question sent in by one of our members.  Maria asks for more advice on difficult people in the workplace.  So here is the question from Maria.
In other information you have spoken about a range of techniques to stay calm, cool and collected when working with difficult people.  You mentioned the strategy of walking away from a very difficult person when you feel yourself becoming stressed and angry with them.  Using this walk away strategy for stress reduction and to calm down.  However, in dealing with difficult people at work there is a particular person you interrupts me every time I try to communicate with them.  I do really want to walk away as it is driving me mad.  But if I walk away whenever they interrupt me I probably would never come back and try to speak to them again.  Do you have any further advice on how I deal with difficult people like this one at work?  What else can I do to remain calm and yet get them to stop interrupting me?
Great question from Maria.  I'm certain a lot of other people would like more ideas as well.  So here is an additional idea on dealing with people at work you are interrupters as you try to speak to them.  You do still need to be driven to stay as calm and chilled out as you can. You do still need to walk away and find some space as you're feeling your stress levels climbing.  Whether it's only into the adjacent room or a lively walk around the block, apply this time to cool off and focus on trying to think clearly again.  Then you will be able to go back to attempt to speak to this person once more.  Taking this time can mean the difference between staying  really calm or losing control over your emotions in working with difficult people.
However, besides simply swinging around and walking off from this person once you feel your stress levels climbing. Add this stress management and assertive communication technique when employing the walking off strategy. Prior to you walking off for a short time, you need to tell this demanding person why you're walking off. Make sure to sound  as calm as you can and use assertive communication in working with difficult people like this.
Very clearly and calmly explain to them why you are walking away.  For instance, you can say "Ann, I feel extremely angry when you speak to me in this way.  I am going to walk away from you now and when I return I would prefer that when I speak, you do not interrupt me and wait until I have finished speaking before speaking yourself".
When you explain how come you're walking away then it conveys really clearly to this person how their behavior is disturbing you. You've explained this to them in a serene fashion and have walked off to allow you some space to calm down your emotions once more. But don't expect this person to instantly alter their behavior. This behavior is a communicating practice they've done so frequently for a long time. In working with difficult people like this person, you do need to be persistent and unrelenting. Be prepared to explain why and walk away often.  Be prepared to do this as frequently as required until this person begins to alter their communication pattern with you.
So Maria, each time this person interrupts you when you are speaking to them, tell them again why you are feeling angry. Tell them again why you are walking away. Tell them again the behavior you would like to see from them when you return. Tell them clearly, concisely and calmly.   Keep on telling them and being prepared to walk away until this person stops interrupting you whenever they speak with you.
This rude person will ultimately get the message and have to alter their behavior in some way. They will certainly get the message, that if they need to communicate with you they will have to stop interrupting you. Otherwise you will simply walk away and come back later to try to communicate again.
Consider using this strategy when working with difficult people.  Always aim to be persist and consitent with these difficult people.  This will mean that you will be more assertive and reduce your stress in working with difficult people who are interrupters.

So what are your thoughts on dealing with these difficult people? We have lots more great ideas to share with you. Dr Judy Esmond is a leading international expert in the field of stress and dealing with people. I look forward to hearing from you and invite you to get a complimentary copy of our guide on Dealing with Difficult People: 17 Ideas on How to Deal with Difficult People from our website at
Working with difficult people is also an aspect of time management as if you do not do it correctly an enormous amount of time will get lost.
For a free report and ecourse with top time management tips and techniques go to

Talent Management - How Managers can Master the Art of Placing Square Pegs in Square Holes

<br>Have you ever managed someone who you felt was in the wrong job?
<br>What sort of problems did that cause for you? What sort of problems do you think the "miscast" individual was experiencing?
<br>Have you ever been in a role where:
<br>* You feel you're simply not utilising the abilities and strengths you really have?
<br>* You spend too much of your time doing tasks you don't enjoy or which frustrate you?
<br>* You took promotion for that pay rise and the status, but now find the job you do has taken you away from the stuff you really loved and enjoyed doing before you were promoted?
<br>* You feel undervalued?
<br>* You feel out of your depth, or find yourself having to learn in new areas which actually, don't excite you that much?
<br>* You feel little incentive to do anything other than the minimum required of you?
<br>If you have, then you'll know it affects adversely performance, not to mention the fact that all parties, the manager, team  colleagues and the individual themselves, will be feeling frustration, tension or stress and even discomfort and unhappiness.
<br>For me, the most unfortunate aspect of people being "miscast" is we are missing the potential "brilliance" if that individual were in the right place, using their natural talents more fully.
<br>Being a square peg in a round hole is just darned uncomfortable.
<br>Gallup, in its rigorous research over 25 years and literally millions of employees, hundreds of organisations and across more than 60 countries, found there were 12 key questions which, if answered positively, would correlate directly with performance in all of the most important measures within a business: turnover; profit; customer satisfaction; staff turnover and attendance – as well as many of the more subjective measures such as employee engagement, creativity and motivation.
<br>One question Gallup asks within those 12 is:
<br>This question was shown to have a direct correlation to customer satisfaction, to profitability and to staff turnover.
<br>Of course, what is behind this question is the whole issue of talent – how do you recognise it? Which talents do you need for a specific role? How can you develop talent? How can ensure you have the right talent match for the specific role?
<br>I was at a recent Chartered Management Institute meeting where the speaker described it really well I thought. Imagine a bus. You've decided where the bus is going (the strategy), but now you need:
<br>The right people on the bus.
<br>The right people in the right seats.
<br>The wrong people off the bus.
<br>We can all agree with that I guess. It sounds so simple and so obvious. The problem is, while we know what we should be aiming for, how to do that so we get it right more often than we get it wrong, is sometimes a lot less clear!
<br>So – when it comes to recruitment, what do you do? What sort of processes do you have in place? Do you have a recruitment agency? Does HR do most of the work? How much should you, the manager, be involved? What could or should you be doing to ensure you get it right more often than you get it wrong?
<br>Even if you have an HR department which has already devised processes to support selection and recruitment you must still have a significant involvement in the process to ensure your specific requirements are being met and that together you really do match the right talents with the role.  Do not abdicate responsibility here. A mistake can be extremely costly and can cause you problems for an extremely long time, so give this task the absolute attention it needs.
<br>Try this 3 step approach to help you place people in a position where they will play to their strengths more than their weaknesses.
<br>1. Study  your "stars". Find the staff who are performing the best in the particular role you are studying. Ask them some key questions to help you understand and identify the natural talents these top performers display. (If you want to know more about the right kinds of  questions to ask, contact us direct at )
<br>2. Draw up a role profile. Draw up a list/profile of the things your "best performers" tell you they think, feel and do – instinctively and naturally, particularly in the most challenging and critical parts of their jobs.
<br>3.  Set up a "talent interview " as part of your process. Whatever process you already employ, if you don't already do this, try including a "talent interview" in your selection process.  Taking the answers your "stars" have already given you, create questions you can ask of the potential recruit which will help give you a better feel for how this individual will respond to some of the key competencies for the role. What questions could you ask which would help you see if the candidate responds the same as your "stars"?
<br>This whole process will help you as a manager, not just to position people more accurately, it will improve relationships with your staff, and the overall performance of your team.
Shona Garner is an experienced Executive and Business Coach, specialising in helping managers build top performing teams, and increase their own standing in the organisation. For instant access to a free guide with the top ten tips for motivating and engaging your team visit <a href=""></a><br>
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